If Only My Thighs Were As Thin As My Patience...

I awoke this morning to find that all the major muscle groups in my back had formed a mutiny against me. And they apparently talked my stomach into joining their gang. Screaming pain met me step for step as I made my way to the bathroom. And the only thing that took my mind off of all the discomfort was the churning nausea.

I knew that my solutions weren't far away, though. Tylenol for the muscle aches and Zofran for the nausea, and I'd feel like a new woman by the time I sat down for breakfast.

Unfortunately, I'd left my purse full o'drugs in the car last night when, instead, I had to carry my slumbering 4 year old from his carseat to his bed (ah.... back pain, is that what you're so bent out of shape about today??).

And more unfortunately, someone decided that my car would be much safer if it was locked.

Most unfortunately, that someone was my 4 yr old son, who couldn't remember... to save his life this morning... where he'd put mommy's car keys after he'd decided to lock the car up nice and safe!

So,while Drew searched high and low in his typical unhurried fashion, I stared through the car window at the relief that mocked me from the passenger seat. I considered a few options (coat hanger, baseball bat) before I remembered the spare keys.

And although they weren't where they were supposed to be, I eventually found the extra set and secured my medications.

As the drugs began their work, my son also managed to break the television remote, "fix" it by shoving the batteries back in the wrong way, knock everything off a shelf in the garage while attempting to grab that one little blue soldier action figure that he just had to have, and give me seventeen opportunities to remind him that we DO NOT EVER grab a dog by the tail.

Drew's daddy is in strategy meetings all day today. He works for one of the big pharmaceutical companies. I'm tempted to send him an urgent text, something along the lines of "need to develop drug for patience.. AND HURRY!!!"

But my bright idea is going to have to wait. I just discovered a trail of sticky, syrupy waffle mess on the floor that must be cleaned up before the dogs get to it.

Although I do have something that would settle their upset stomachs...