Thursday, June 10, 2010

Just When You Think You Have It All Together

I'm a good planner. I'm not a tidy or organized person, but I have good plans and great intentions.

So, when I embarked for the airport yesterday, I had a great plan in place for flying solo with two small children.

By foregoing checked baggage and carrying on all our luggage, I saved quite a bit on airfare. By choosing seats in the back of the plane, I saved even more money on our tickets. By arriving late to the airport, we were able to practically walk right onto the plane without having to wait and answer the "When are we going?" question 50 times from my five-year-old. And by charging up his DVD player and packing 17 movies, I ensured a quiet, fun-filled flight for at least one of my children.

One logistical maneuver was conspicuously missing from my amazing plan, however. That is, I never determind how I was going to get my two small children and four pieces of carry-on luggage to the very back of the plane at the end of boarding when everyone else was already seated in a sold-out flight and the aisles were no wider than the hips my baby girl was perched on. Hmmm....

We boarded the plane and greeted the first flight attendant before I realized my oversight. Staring out at a sea of sleepy, grumpy passengers crammed into the aircraft, I took a deep breath and slung my suitcase around to my back, hoisted Miss M and the diaper bag high up onto my left hip, and grabbed Drew's rolling suitcase in my right hand and held it out directly in front of me. I plastered a smile on my face, and began simultaneously giving out instructions and apologies:

OK, Drew, all the way to the back of the plane!
Keep going, Buddy! To Aisle 27!
So sorry, Sir.
Pardon me, Ma'am.
Did that bag just hit you.
Watch your hands.
I'm fine, thanks!
Keep going, Drew. We aren't even close.
Oops... I'm sorry.
Thank you, yes, just be careful.
Coming through.
Pardon me, excuse me.
So sorry.
Nope, buddy, that's aisle 10. Keep walking straight back.
Are you ok?
If I hit anyone else, I apologize ahead of time!
Yeah, if I could just squeeze by... yes, she's just 7 months. Thank you!
Yes, Drew, that's Aisle 20, we're almost there.
Excuse me, Sir. Did I get you with my diaper bag? So sorry!
Oops, I'm so sorry!
Almost there....
Ok, Aisle 27! That's us. Sit down, buddy. I'll be back. Just need to find somewhere to put our overhead bags.
Excuse me, Ms. Flight Attendant, could you assist me in... oh you CAN? Great!
I'd love help with the bags.... oh, the baby. Sure, you can hold her. I'll just go find some space for these bags.
No I'm not traveling alone. I have another child as well. He's in his seat already.
Oh, you meant another adult. Nope.
I'm FINE, though! Just going to hoist this bag here...
Oh gosh... I'm so sorry! Are you ok?
If I could just squeeze through and put, arrrrgh, this, there!
Her name's Megan. Um, could you help me find space for this bag?
I know... yes, she's had that much hair since she was born. Thank you.
Ok, I think that does it.
I'll take her now. Thank you for all your help.
Hi, Buddy. You doing ok? I know, I'm sorry it took so long.
I'm sorry I'm sweaty.
Would you like to watch a DVD?
Oh... you don't like the headphones.

You know what they say, though.
The best laid plans of mice and men...
are useless when you fly!


Christy said...

haha That's hilarious! Hey, at least you didn't have your bag break while you were going through security and all your clothes fly out everywhere for all to see! That happened to Bryan yesterday. ;)

Two Shades of Pink said...

Well there you have it. I am not flying with both my girls alone until they are teenagers. Thanks. And did you keep count of how many people you took out with your bags?

3 Chicks & A Dude said...

i so look up to you for attempting to fly with 2 kids by yourself! and i know it was totally worth all of that make...ummm...what did your pervious post call him....oh yeah! the "master" happy to see his family! the smiles and memories make the sweat worth it! plus...just think! you'll have dropped a couple pounds getting on and off the plane!

Kookie Krums said...

Jenny, I just love you. I can totally see you making this trek with that adorable smile on your face the entire time. You are a gem!

Beautiful Grace said...

Ohmygoodness I love this. I was smiling the whole time.


Reminds me of flying to Dallas with car seats, wheel chairs, carry on's and 2 kids. I had two adult children with me as well. The ballerina got yanked out of line and frisked ...yes, the BALLERINA. I was laughing so hard as I was photographing the body search that the guard asked me what i thought I was doing. "Christmas Card" I informed her.If they were looking for terrorists they should have frisked Thomas. I never flew again.