Wednesday, November 19, 2008


f.e.m.a. - (fish emergency management association) the Maternal Parental Household Agency tasked with all tank-related Disaster Mitigation, Preparedness, Response, Recovery...and Funeral Services (when necessary).

Breaking News
A f.e.m.a. official arrived on the scene only seconds after the unfortunate series of events that led to yesterday's toxic spill of an entire container of fish food into the tank.

Bystanders were hesitant to comment on what they witnessed, but two particular preschoolers were being held by authorities for questioning.

First responder "mom2drew" gave a compelling account of the rescue efforts, many of which are still underway. "It was quite a mess when we got here. It was hard to get a clear picture of what we were dealing with - the water was so contaminated, kinda murky and orange... and we knew we just needed to get these residents into safer living conditions. That was our first priority."

But rescue efforts proved to be slow-going as the residents of the ten-gallon tank seemed less than eager to leave their homes and belongings. "I was able to air-lift two to safety within the first few minutes, but the others were harder to secure. There were obstacles like rocks and seaweed. After a while, the smell and the poor visibility made the job very difficult."

Eventually, all of the fish were moved to temporary housing as crews arrived to begin the arduous task of decontaminating the area. Within a few minutes, the flakes of food had turned to mush, making any cleanup efforts a challenge.

After several hours, the majority of the work was completed, and the tank was re-opened for residents to return home.

"We are grateful that so many did survive this ordeal," said mom2drew. "But we are saddened by the staggering loss of 40% of the community. We never feel good about the loss of lives, but with an incident of this magnitude - we're just grateful for what we were able to accomplish."

No doubt the remaining residents of the tank will feel both sobered and grateful this morning as they awake in their newly cleaned, less-populated environment.

Authorities have vowed to tighten security around the tank, making parental supervision a requirement for future feeding times.


Surviving 4 said...

Sorry, I'm laughing too hard to comment at this time...

Beth said...

This is hysterical - great writing!

Amy's Blah, Blah, Blogging said...

Hi! This is my first visit to your blog. I finally just now got to look at my Momsense magazine and really enjoyed your article. I will have to stop by again soon, your blogiversary sounds like fun!