Monday, March 15, 2010

I Envy the Octopus

Drop Drew off at preschool.
Head to office with baby.
Have a work question.
Email accountant.
Call bank.
Go to bank.
Sit in waiting area.
Feed baby a bottle.
Wait while customer service rep researches my question.
Send frantic text to friend - "I'm late for preschool pickup!"
Call school and leave message to put Drew on playground.
Get told "no" by bank.
Call school again and leave another message that I won't be late. Please get Drew off the playground.
Pick up Drew from preschool.
Head back to office.
Drew has to go potty.
Manuever stroller through tiny office bathroom.
Sit Drew in front of television.
Jiggle baby while logging back onto computer.
Feel something warm and slimy.
Grab diaper bag, blanket, new outfit.
Dial new customer service number.
Put line on speaker phone to wait the 15 minutes or more I've just been promised.
Sit down on floor of office with baby, diaper bag, and supplies.
Call accountant from cell phone.
Give baby head-to-toe bath with wipes, change clothes all the way down to socks, talk to accountant, listen for my turn on speaker phone and answer Drew's questions about show he's watching.
Hang up all phone lines.
Return calls left on machine.
Rock crying baby.
Realize baby has fallen asleep in arms while rocking.
Put baby down in quiet dark room.
Wait for return phone calls.
Realize that son's just told me he's watching a movie I probably shouldn't let him watch.
Guess preschool shows are over.
Let it go.
Get the information I need.
Pack up baby, Drew, stroller, diaper bag, trash and head downstairs.
Go back to bank.
Sit back down in waiting area.
Feed baby another bottle.
Find another bathroom for Drew.
Get another turn with customer service rep.
Get what I needed in the first place this morning.
Hear Hallelujah chorus.
Remember that I needed to go to Sam's Club.
Alerted by car that I need gas, too.
Alerted by son that I haven't fed him lunch yet.
Pick up necessities at Sam's Club.
Feed son hot dog combo lunch for $1.60.
Hear Hallelujah chorus again.
Fill up car with gas.
Ask son incredulously if he REALLY has to go potty again.
Find cup in the car.
Head home.
Unpack car.
Feed dog.
Feed baby again.
Feed boy again.
Find baseball practice clothes.
Find gloves, helmet, shoes, hat and pack into practice bag.
Comfort crying son who just remembered the mean thing another boy did to him at last week's practice.
Get boy and hubby off to practice.
Take first shower in two days.
Feed baby again.
Try to remember if I've eaten since breakfast.
Eat dinner.
Sit on couch.
Realize baby has fallen asleep in my arms.
Relax.
Welcome boys home from practice.
Realize I haven't considered their dinner needs at all.
Throw together dinner for two hungry men.
Send them off to the showers.
Read bedtime stories to boy.
Pass baby off to hubby.
Check on two sleeping kids.
Check two email accounts.
Check blogs.
Check.
Check.
Check.

And stare incredulously at my to-do list.
After all that, only one item can be checked off.

9 comments:

Two Shades of Pink said...

Laughing. And wondering if I should be alarmed you told someone to leave your child on the playground. Pictured adorable blond boy standing alone on in empty playground with forlorn look on his face. Still laughing.

Sharon said...

You make me laugh every time I read your blog. I think I can be very thankful that Avery doesn't have a twin or I may start to sound like you. You need a day at the spa with all you have to do in a day:)

The Buggs said...

You should do a similar blog about your day today! Thanks for getting everything ready for Dad's release from the hospital. I couldn't have done this without all the help from you, Emily and Adam.
Mom

Anonymous said...

After a busy day at work I look forward to reading your blog..makes me laugh and remember my days with 4 kids...you need t write a book

Anonymous said...

Oh I love it and I sooo relate. I think you should do more of these. You will like looking back one day. Today as I rushed all around apts with just baby and bog kids at preschool, I suddenly stopped and he was grinning at me and my heart just melted. It doesn't matter how much extra effort it is to run around with the little ones tagging along, slowing things down. Just think how simple life would be doing errands with no kids... but then what? A life of easy errand running? Now that's fulfilling. haha Isn't it amazing that God has entrusted these littke peopke, so completely vunerable to us, to raise and teach them who He is? I am praying God will keep that perspective fresh in our minds as we go through all the daily stuff- that we won't lose sight of what life is REALLY about and what and who REALLY matter. So what if we miss a deadline or something like that as long as we don't miss the really important, nonstop job of nurturing these little hearts.

Love you friend,
xo
Jennifer N

Allison and Jon said...

Even in bullet points...it just goes to show how much is involved with being a mom...the toughest and best job in life. Thanks for sharing!

Susan T-V said...

Glad your day finally ended, I'm exhausted from reading it! We are praying for your Dad, dear friend.

ChristyO said...

Remember the little dotted line "maps" in the family circus cartoons that show where a person had been the whole day? I thought of that when I read your blog today. Hang in there and remember to breathe.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely rolling with laughter. Yes, you should write a book! I love your writing style. Sometimes all you can do is laugh. We continue to pray for your dad, mom , and family.
Carol Mathews