It All Evens Out

This is for the mom who is worried that her pudgy newborn boy is consistently "off the charts" in weight and height and may grow up to be the next "Andre the Giant".

Someday, he'll be five years old. And he'll be the perfect height for a boy his age. And he'll be so slim that you'll stop after his doctor's check up to feed the poor kid a doughnut. With sprinkles.

This is for the mom who worries that her son's affinity for the adventurous as a toddler means a future full of broken bones and ER visits.

Someday, he'll be five years old. And he'll be a little smarter and more sophisticated about the adventures he attempts because you let him fall off the monkey bars once or twice way back then.

This is for the mom who is worried about the fact that her two-year old boy only grunts and points while his preschool pals are speaking in three and four word sentences.

Someday, he'll be sitting at his five-year check-up with his pediatrician sharing stories about t-ball and putt putt golf and his baby sister and bicycle safety and carseat safety and the school he's attending next year and his favorite color and the time he hit himself in the eye with a basketball and who his dentist is and what he ate for breakfast and his new preference for vegetables and how silly it is that he's sitting in his underwear on an examining table and that he's pleased with the results of his blood pressure reading and that he's excited over the fact that he doesn't need any shots when he's five...

and the pediatrician will tell you (when she finds the opportunity to jump into the conversation) that, "We're not worried about his vocabulary, that's for sure!"

And this is for the mom whose five year old constantly interrupts when grown-ups are talking and has a hard time remembering to use his manners and leaves his dirty clothes strewn around the house and bubble gum wrappers on the kitchen counter.

Oh, wait... that's me.

Any good advice out there for THIS mom?