"What I (Don't) Want to Be When I Grow Up"

Here's a little spin on the "oldie-but-goodie" creative writing assignment.

What I Don't Want to Be When I Grow Up (by A.M. Mama... age 33)

When I grow up, I do not want to be a baker. Specifically, I hope that I will never, ever have to help support my family financially based on my skills as a baker and decorator of birthday cakes.

Here are a few reasons why:

First, I tend to view projects with a big-picture focus. This is useful when approaching issues like bed-wetting ("Well, he won't wear a diaper when he goes off to college. I'm sure we'll figure this out soon!"). It is considerably less useful when fine details like ingredient measurements and oven temperatures are important to the overall success of the project.

Second, I am over-confident. I will look at the picture of something designed by a professional and think to myself, "I can do that!"

Third, I am trusting. I actually believe the step-by-step instructions that promise me I CAN make my creation look just like the picture of something designed by a professional.

And finally, I am not neat. In leiu of an explanation, I will introduce "Exhibit A":



This is the cake I made for my son's fifth birthday.
He wanted a basketball cake.
I wanted to call the local bakery to make it.
I wanted to laugh out loud when I found out how much the bakery wanted to charge.
I decided to save some money and make the cake myself.




The Twizzlers really jazzed it up, I think:



The birthday party-ers had a treat for the senses. In addition to the craftsmanship, the baking left a bit to be desired. Or to be cooked, as it were. My mother-in-law took a bite of her piece and exclaimed, "Oh! There's pudding inside! How wonderful!"

"Um... nope, no pudding in there!! Ok, everyone. Stay away from the center of the cake, please! Apparently it did not get cooked!!"

In conclusion, if I had to bake and decorate birthday cakes for a living, my family would starve.