Thursday, April 29, 2010

"What I (Don't) Want to Be When I Grow Up"

Here's a little spin on the "oldie-but-goodie" creative writing assignment.

What I Don't Want to Be When I Grow Up (by A.M. Mama... age 33)

When I grow up, I do not want to be a baker. Specifically, I hope that I will never, ever have to help support my family financially based on my skills as a baker and decorator of birthday cakes.

Here are a few reasons why:

First, I tend to view projects with a big-picture focus. This is useful when approaching issues like bed-wetting ("Well, he won't wear a diaper when he goes off to college. I'm sure we'll figure this out soon!"). It is considerably less useful when fine details like ingredient measurements and oven temperatures are important to the overall success of the project.

Second, I am over-confident. I will look at the picture of something designed by a professional and think to myself, "I can do that!"

Third, I am trusting. I actually believe the step-by-step instructions that promise me I CAN make my creation look just like the picture of something designed by a professional.

And finally, I am not neat. In leiu of an explanation, I will introduce "Exhibit A":



This is the cake I made for my son's fifth birthday.
He wanted a basketball cake.
I wanted to call the local bakery to make it.
I wanted to laugh out loud when I found out how much the bakery wanted to charge.
I decided to save some money and make the cake myself.




The Twizzlers really jazzed it up, I think:



The birthday party-ers had a treat for the senses. In addition to the craftsmanship, the baking left a bit to be desired. Or to be cooked, as it were. My mother-in-law took a bite of her piece and exclaimed, "Oh! There's pudding inside! How wonderful!"

"Um... nope, no pudding in there!! Ok, everyone. Stay away from the center of the cake, please! Apparently it did not get cooked!!"

In conclusion, if I had to bake and decorate birthday cakes for a living, my family would starve.

7 comments:

Adam said...

Well, I was reading the blog and my honest thought was that you were being too hard on yourself. The cake looked like a basketball, so I thought you did good. But then I got to the pudding part. That is great. I don't think I can support your cake-making after reading that. Very funny.

The Buggs said...

Didn't you ever wonder why we always had you bring the chips and drinks to family gatherings?
Mom

Two Shades of Pink said...

I think this is my favorite post of yours ever. And I quote...

The birthday party-ers had a treat for the senses. In addition to the craftsmanship, the baking left a bit to be desired. Or to be cooked, as it were. My mother-in-law took a bite of her piece and exclaimed, "Oh! There's pudding inside! How wonderful!"

Um, that is laugh out loud funny. Especially you telling people to avoid the center. Not, "DON'T EAT IT!" Just, "Avoid the center."

Seriously. Funniest. Thing. Ever.

Surviving 4 said...

I'd leave a longer quote, but I have to go to the bathroom before I wet my pants. That's what happens after you have babies and you laugh too hard.

HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kookie Krums said...

I am truly laughing out loud. I love your heart. This one is going to give me the giggles for a long tme.

3 chicks and a dude said...

ok...i thought your post was funny...then i read your mom's comment! HAHAHAHAHA! you've gotta love family.
i love drew's look on his face...i see a little pride...like...oh yeah...my mom made this cake! what'd he have to say about his adorable basketball cake?
gotta admit...it's nice to know that you're not perfect. i was beginning to wonder!

SECRET PEPPER PERSON: said...

Ok when I saw the first side view photo of the cake,aka "exhibit A" sitting on a what? (It looks like a white hubcap but I guess it's a cake plate or something?) coffee actually came out of my nose which was bad enough but then I aspirated it. And the thought of Margie saying mmmmmm how lovely pudding...Please,Please invite me to your parties in the future...but only if you are baking.